Give and take

Hello. This post is one of my complaints about people. Just because I have a great job people seem to think I am rich. I worked very hard to get what I have. Almost 24 yrs seniority with the telecommunication workers union who takes good care of me.

The cost of living here in my small retirement community has gone up so much that most people I know have had to move out of town even though some work here still. I also have two cats which I will not give up. Nobody wants to rent to anyone with pets because all those idiots out there who do not keep their units clean who own animals ruins it for clean freaks like me. I was almost homeless twice in the last two years because every rental ad was either too expensive or said no pets. Only maybe two out of 20 would allow pets. I am so grateful now I have an affordable, clean and quiet condo close to all shopping. I had a really nice car I had to give up a year ago because the check engine light came on. My mechanic told me it would cost me $2000 to fix it. I was moving at the same time which was $2000. I had to make a choice. A roof or a car. Of course I had to take the roof which turned out to be the worst year I have ever had ending up evicted and homeless for one day. I had the worst landlords I have ever met and neighbors who either used me or complained about every single thing I did.

In every place I have lived people are always asking me for smokes, money etc. They think I am rich. It has become so expensive to rent here now in this beautiful beach community. My income covers my bills and that is it. I had to start a home business making $120 an hour giving massages part time just so that I can afford to buy myself nice things like the new 40 inch lcd samsung tv which I have wanted for over a year. I got it for only $399 which is the lowest price I have seen. I have been window shopping for a long time. I don't pay full price for anything. I am a very good shopper.

I am not a patient person except when it comes to shopping. I find something I want and I shop around trying to find the best price for this item. I patiently wait until the right price comes up then I run out and buy it.

Like I said everywhere I live people ask me for things constantly. It has been a problem of mine for over 8 yrs now. When I need something from them I get nothing. They actually make me feel like a loser for even asking. Sometimes I do say yes and help some people out but again when I ask for help they tell me sorry. I am sick and tired of people like this. Especially when I don't see them trying to make more money on their own so that they aren't so desperate all the time. I see alot of people on welfare who are not educating themselves to have a better life or start a small business to be able to afford all their monthly needs.

I paid for all my education and harrassed my employer until they hired me. Then I worked my butt off every single day by putting in 16 hour days five days a week. Then my son had baseball or soccer on the weekends which I attended even when it was my ex's weekend. I also put about a hundred dollars a month every month for 18 yrs to my union just in case I could not work and when my company benefits stopped and if I was not ready to return to work these benefits I paid into would kick in. When my son was 17 I had to leave my ex for the third and last time because I became severely depressed with panic attacks. I cannot work anymore and I am doing alright because I prepared myself many years ago. I believe in covering my butt just in case because it seems like I have been struggling to survive since my unwanted birth. I have had many medical problems including about 20 surgeries. I have been mentally and physically disabled since birth with nobody to help me with anything. I have taken alot of negative events into positive ones I could use to make my life better. I am always looking ahead and behind which I have realized most people don't do this. Many people just live day by day and doing nothing to make a better life for themselves. They often use people and are not highly educated like myself. I am on my computer alot every day and evening. It probably equals a book a day. Every day is a gift so I take advantage of every single day.

I have to get ready for another client now so I will end this posting with some good advice. Always be prepared for the worst. Every day is a gift so do as much as you can every day. It will pay off. I have been hurt badly by my own family and every boyfriend I have had. I refuse to be one of these older bitter women living alone hating men and eventually die at an early age. I give everybody a chance. If they turn on me I do not give out second chances anymore. I have kicked people out or not let them in because of things they have done to me. Life is too short to let people take advantage of me. No more. Life is good now except I still miss my mom and son so much it hurts. All I can do is pray that someday my son will come back to me. I cannot think about it too much or I will just start crying. Thanks for listening. For every door that closes there is another door open for you if you look hard enough. Big hug to all who suffer from a mental or physical illness.

Tere