Hello. I was without a computer for a couple months and now am so happy to be online again. Sometimes I also take long breaks because all through this book contains alot of painful memories. I know there is so much more I am not  being told about anything to do with family.

My abusive father and my ex both alcoholics ruined almost 50 yrs of my life. I was born unwanted and basically ignored and abused my whole life.

Always have goals set every single day. Reward yourself after you complete that task. Keeping yourself busy really helps. Keeping yourself educated is a big key. My illness is not very serious but there has been suicides because of the unknown. People give up too easily finding professional help.  My ex seriously needs professional help but after only two doctors when he gave up.  Just because someone has a certificate on the wall does not mean they are good at what the do. I am in the process of seeking an addictions counsellor. Some really opened my mind the other night thinking about counslors. I bet most came from happy childhoods and lots of paid education and has never been abused.

I am always being told I am a horrible mother. How did my son turn out so pure and good, handsome, tall with nice teeth because I spent alot of money on his braces. I was putting in 16 hour days five days a week for so many years as a single mom which cost me $700 a month in expenses to just be able to go to work. I had to see my ex every day to pick up our son and take him home. He would always something very mean to get me upest. I lost it one night and hit him so I had to stay away for a couple weeks then I had him drop off our son at my condo. He still had two seconds to try to upset me as usual. Then once I got dinner on the table while doing laundry, cleaning etc. Then I would end the day by calling my mom. They adopted my ex who did not like his own family. My mom did not support me in any way when I kept saying I was getting sick being back with ken for the fhird and last time.


My ex had the whole family convinced I was a major drug addict smoking one doobie an the very end of my long day and night. He didn't seem to mind. He has seven impaired chardges and has been in jail a couple times.Driving impaired is a criminal offense but you do not get a criminal recond. This makes me mad. My ex will go to his grave that I fooled around on him several times in our 26 yrs together. I firmly believe you should not incolve your children in your domestic problems. My ex crossed the line and had my son call be to tell me dad was taking me to court. It felt like a knife went through my heart. Then I had to sit in the court house six times for many hours just over child support that could have been  discussed in person. I do not deserve all this torment from so many people.

My advice to any adult children of alcoholics and anyone receiving mental or physical abuse do something about it now. Keep educating yourself and always set goals to help you get out of bed each morning crying. I miss my son so much it is killing me Thanks.


Tere