Hello. I have done so much research about mental illness problems and am shocked to find out how many people are suffering one of many forms of this illness. We just lost my favorite star robin williams. Doesn't seem to matter if you are rich or poor. Good looking or ugly. Every year more and more people get added to this horrible disease.
Making this book has been one of the hardest things I have done because you have to go back in time and recall and write down some terrible memories. Your mind is an amazing organ. My mom told me years ago about things that happened between me and my abusive father which I did not remember because it was to painful.
Having depression does not just affect you. It affects everyone around you. I have actually had to stop writing a couple times because I became depressed again.
I have been getting alot of calls from publishers who have seen some of my work and they want a piece of the pie. I am very intelligent and know I can market and sell it myself.
Even though I should be bitter and angry all the time luckily I am a happy giving down to earth person who has many friends. I took alot of the bad experiences I have had and turned them into a positive thing I could use to do alot of things like get a good paying career and raising my son completely different then the way I was raised.
I like to help people. If my book helps only one person all my hard work would be worth it. Everyone needs help sometime in their lives. I believe in karma. If you treat others good only good things will happen to you. Bad people always get unlucky in the end.
I believe the key to avoiding being a street person on drugs because they were all abused is to educate yourself. The more education you have the better job you will get. The more friends you will have. I was set financially by the time I was 25 with a 3 yr old son at home raising him alone. It was costing me $700 a month just to go to work. Luckily I had a very high paying job with excellent benefits and perks. I worked very hard for everything I have. I was putting in 16 hour days five days a week sick or not. I have met so many lazy people living on welfare wasting every day of their lives. I believe you should treat every day like it is your last. I have accomplished so much in the 50 yrs I have been alive. I refuse to let anyone to bring me down anymore. So many people find it hard to get out of bed having depression. I believe you should get up every single day with one or more goals. They could be small or big. It could happen right away or months. It doesn't not matter. When I finally accomplish a goal I go out and buy myself something nice. I am a preferred customer at our local jewelry store. I just had my 50th birthday so I went out and bought myself a diamond ring. You cannot depend on anyone to pat you on your back for doing a good job. It just doesn't happen very often. You have to tell yourself that you are proud of yourself and go do something to make you happy.
I also found out recently that if you have one or more forms of depression or you are an elderly person married for 50 yrs and all of a sudden one dies and you are all alone. I advise people to get yourself a pet. They are the best therapy you can get. I rescued one of my cats who was an abandoned kitten. You could tell she was a very scared little girl when I brought her home so I went out and bought another one for her. They love each other. Seeing them cuddling together or cleaning each other is just so cute.They make me smile every day. Every time I feel suicidal I think to myself that I will be abandoning them again. They need me as much as I need them.
I cannot believe how many irresponsible pet owners out there. I am currently stuck in a small room at a motel because I cannot find another condo I can afford and that will let me keep my girls. All the idiots out there ruin it for people like me. Every one who comes into my home cannot believe how clean it is.
I have lived here in white rock, BC Canada for over 30 yrs and have never had a problem finding a condo. This used to be just a retirement community with a nice beach and nice parks. Now alot of rich people have moved here and now the rent here is about $2000 a month which most people cannot afford. I make more money then anyone here at my motel but I still cannot afford to give a landlord half of my income for rent. I have had no kitchen or bdrm for a year now but for the first time I have wonderful landlords. This is a pet friendly place. Every person in here wants out but they all have pets which makes it almost impossible to find another place to move to. I have an expensive home office here. I have a really big led tv and about $5000 worth of clothes. The wiring in here is almost dangerous. I am so worried about a fire. I found out I can not insure anything in a motel so if there was a fire I would lose everything.
My ex husband years ago told me he wanted to wait till he retires to travel. One of the times I left him I started travelling alone for three weeks each time every year in my 30's. My parents loved my son so much so they did not have a problem keeping him while I was gone. I had thoughts of being in a wheel chair in my 70's telling myself I wish I had travelled when I was young and healthy. I took myself to the caribbean 9 times for three weeks alone each time. I have so many good memories. I came home looking so rested, happy, relaxed with a nice tan. You can only have a good time travelling alone if you are a very independent person who can easily blend into a group to make it look like you are not alone. I have two friends born and raised in Nassua, Bahamas. I went to see them a few years ago. I had such a good time with them. Whenever I get some free time I go online researching my plans for my retirement. I plan on living in the bahamas for six months a year every year. I am trying to find another woman my age with the same idea to share expenses there. So far I have achieved every goal I had set for myself. I like to plan far in advance. I am also a very good shopper. I always find some nicer and cheaper then everyone else I know.
I miss my job and my friends there. I hate taking 21 pills a day and in therapy for life all because my alcoholic father and ex husband tried their best to kill me with daily mental abuse. I was handling it ok until one day I was in rush hour on my way to work one day when my heart started hurting and I had pain going down my arm. I thought I was having a heart attack and what made it worse was the traffic was so bad I could not get myself to a hospital. I got to work and sat down and started crying. I couldn't stop. My boss sent me home. That was the turning part of my life. I then had to go onto long term disability from work. There was many people way sicker then me who could not qualify for disability benefits. In fact the first time I applied I got denied. I have such a good union. One of the big guys in my union called me up and asked me to come into the office and he was going to help me fill out the application again. I was then approved. I also paid into a special fund to my union every month for 18 years in case I got sick. My job would have paid me for some time but if you are still too sick to return and your benefits run out you then can move over to the union. I am now being supported by my wonderful union. They pay me well and give me full benefits. I know so many people with no benefits. If all of a sudden they desperately need a dentist they have to pay hundreds of dollars for help which they cannot afford.
My son is now 29 and he hates me thanks to being brainwashed my my evil ex. When I die he gets $40,000 immediately and $850 a month for ten years. I bet his dad doesn't have that plan for our son. My ex will go to his grave believing I cheated on him during the 26 yrs off and on that we were together. There is no proof because it never happened. Criminals get treated better then me. I don't get my day in court. Nobody wants to hear my side of the story which is the truth. My son and I were tight for 20 years. I was a great housewife mother to my ex and my son. That is why my ex asked me back four times. I rejected him the last time so he decided to make my life hell by taking away our son and he put me in jail twice. I also spent hours in the court rooms trying to defend myself. I make too much money for legal aide and not enough to retain a good lawyer so I am using the duty counsellor at the court house. The last time I was in court he got all my charges dropped but now I have a criminal record which I am trying to have it removed so I can start travelling again. I am going to use my mental illness to my advantage to clear my name.
I have so many things going on in my mind everyday. I have been looking for an affordable home every day. I have also been trying to find a second income as a virtual office assistant helping out a small business who cannot afford to run an office. I also have 8 yrs experience working with elderly. I am also trying to find work as an assistant to an older person doing errands for them and just being their friend. I have also been advertising myself as a computer tech for anyone new with computers. The only problem I have is I do not have a car right now so I can only work locally. All these jobs pay very good money under the table. I have doubled my income since I left work. I am a massage therapist right now charge $80 an hour. I only need to see one person a day. I am very good with number coming from five years in payroll. I now make around $4000 clear a month working only one hour a day. Just before my mom passed away last year she told me how come you make so much more money then her as a school teacher. I told her I am a member of the best union in canada. We also have the best insurance company paying our benefits. If you add up all the cost of all the medical system you have to use you would be so shocked. A dentist can bankrupt you. I need new glasses soon. All I have to do is pay them $300. I then mail my receipt into my insurance company and they have my bank account information. They deposit the $300 into my account a week later. Now a days it is almost impossible to find a union job with a large company. I landed my permanent job in 89. Benefits are worth thousands of dollars every year. When our ceo left and the new one came in he went to every department and tried to downsize everyone. Every hated him. He then offered retirement packages or a buy out. They offered me $35,000 to quit. I said no. I knew how valuable my benefits for life were worth. I met one lady a couple years ago that told me she got $90,000. Sounds good hey. Well she found out she bought a leaky condo and had to use most of her money in repairs. She lost her retirement package and all her benefits. She was in her mid 50's. Most people do not hire you at that age and if you do find something you will only be getting $9 an hour working just under full time hours so they don't have to pay you benefits. Most of them treat their employees like crap also.
Since I left work I did three years volunteer work at our local hospital working with the elderly. I then quit and took on three different part time jobs. When I got sick of them I just quit. I already had a good income so I did not have to put up with any abuse bosses like handing out to their employees. I have always been able to make lots of money because I am very intelligent and very attractive. It sucks but it is true that most attractive people get what they want faster and easier then fat ugly people.
Since I was so abused I started going out with friend all the time as soon as I turned 13. My negative life turned into a positive one because I developed very good social skills which is the key to be able to find and keep a good pay job. I was always one of the best workers in every department I worked in and my bosses told me that. They loved me. If I was having a hard day one of them took me into her office and let me cry for half an hour. Once I got it out of system I went back to work. Our headquarters had everything including a medical office with nurses etc. We had a bank, a big cafeteria, a store and a gym. We also had a phone mart so you could pay your bill at work. We also had so many family functions like summer picnics, easter parties for the kids. We had a great christmas party for the family. I could go on for hours telling you all the things the company did for us. It was like a big family. One thing that was cool. Every payday someone would walk around and get a loonie from every employee on our floor. At the end of the day one person won all the money. I came back from lunch one day to find an envelope with $50 in it. We had so many activities you could join for a very low price. I loved my job and had so many friends there. Since I left I have missed them so much. My school friends are all unavailable now so I am alone a lot now. When I am alone I spend most of my time online or watch my big 48 inch led tv. I watch the news a lot. I have made a few friends here at the motel I am staying at right now who all hate it here and all of us are trying to move out. We help each other out a lot. There is a really nice 65 yr old man two units over that is being screwed financially by a trust company only giving him $80 a week so a lot of us help him out. I make coffee in the morning and often take one over to him every morning. I always give more then I get. There is many people who find out you have lots of money and continue to ask you for things. When I am broke just before payday all of a sudden nobody can even give me one smoke. That kind of bothers me so now I only help out people that help me out which is only two people out of 14 units. I try and help out certain people and sometimes I get nothing in return which hurts my feelings. So now I don't help out anymore except two people.
Well I think I am now going to go catch the bus to go uptown to a thrift store to see if I can find anything valuable. The one good thing about all these rich people living here now that the thrift stores always have some very valuable goods for real cheap.
Right now I am working on about four different projects that I think I can finish by February. I am then going to go buy myself a new car. As soon as I pay off about $3000 worth of bills I will be debt free and will qualify to buy a brand new car. I am excited. See my hard work is going to pay off good in the beginning of next year.
I hope you enjoyed this article. I found out I do not have enough articles to produce a book so I am going to start working harder producing more articles to eventually create a book to sell using my pay pal account.
I hope you have a good day and I hope you learned something new today. Thank you. bye for now
Teresa
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